Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Emotional pain and learning my lessons

In the fluster of emotional pain, when the trembling shift of emerging emotional pain begins to push to the surface, I will seek out someone to share this emotional earth quake with. I can usually find some unsuspecting, caring person to unveil my suffering on. My delivery is animated, entertaining and vivid. I am spilling forth all my anguish and turmoil, my uncomfortable dealings with what life has served up for me. “He said, then I sad, then we...”, “Then she said...can you believe that!?”. My company is engaged in the unfolding of all the details of my pain and suffering. They are temporarily suspended from the dull dealings of their everyday life and given an opportunity to step into an intimate circle of my life. They are gripped by the unfairness of what has befallen me, “oh, poor Patty”. In a flash the decision is made, I read it on their face when the hand off occurs. They want to help me. Like a knight, they want to save me from my pain, protect me from the suffering, shield me from the unfairness of it all. Somewhere in the midst of my emotional earth quake, my compassionate friend has taken on my pain. Like a human bridge they have laid themselves out across the wicked chasm of my undeserving pain. I am rescued. I am pulled from the mire of my misery. My friend has slung my duffel bag of pain on their shoulders. They have a mighty purpose they weren't aware of earlier in the day. Now, thanks to my hero, I am once again back on the surface, amid the light hearted and worthy. My personal warrior walks away, dragging my personal information. (The “duffel bag of pain”drags the ground now because other peoples crap gets heavy in a hurry!) My wonderful friend is dragging away all my possible motivation to correct the painful and persistently reoccurring situation I had earlier found myself in. I slowly come into an awareness that I have not used my pain, the trembling earth below my feet that warns me change is coming, to get better. I haven't paid heed to the chasm of anguish that keeps showing up on my path because I will allow my friends to lay themselves across like a bridge, so I may again pass with the lesson left unlearned. I am really good at handing off my “duffel bag o'pain”. I put on a great show, people love my show. I am a very slow learner.

Dear God,  Please bless all the people who have dragged my 'DBOP' for a while.  Let them know they can put it down, I need it for class.  And please help me to learn my lessons faster so I will quit anoying my friends with my 'DBOP". Amen.

“Standing in the way of other people's pain, prevents their growth.” (But it makes me feel valuable and important, and wise, and needed...thats another blog on another day...)

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